In the home and church I grew up in, I do not remember any teaching on male headship and female submission. In the church, service was performed equally by both males and females based upon their skills. In my home, my parents were co-regents and co-servants. I never remember my father demanding submission from my mother.
When i moved to the Washington, DC area, I started attending fundamentalist churches and I entered the complementarian bubble. I heard many sermons and attended many Bible studies that took a few Pauline verses from letters to form a theology of female submission and male headship. Some try to prove this position by proposing an eternal hierarchy in the Trinity.
Alyssa Roat at Christianity. com gives a good summary of the positions and a quick overview of the evidence that supports each position. https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-are-complementarianism-and-egalitarianism-what-s-the-difference.html
Here are her defintions.
Complementarianism Definition
The first tenet of complementarianism is that men and women are equal in personhood. There is no difference in worth. Rather, proponents of complementarianism believe that men and women have separate, though equal, roles in marriage, family life, the church, and elsewhere.
The word “complementarianism” derives from the word “complement.” Just like complementary colors work well together to create beauty, or one aspect of a dish complements another, the idea is that men and women complement each other for a more beautiful whole.
This view holds that masculinity and femininity were created by God as meaningful distinctions indicating different roles that, when embraced, will lead to the best possible spiritual wellbeing for believers.
Egalitarian Definition
Egalitarianism is defined as “a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs” or “a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people” by Merriam-Webster.
In Christianity, egalitarians agree with complementarians that men and women are equal in worth. However, egalitarianism goes further to state that men and women are considered equal in role capabilities as well; there are no gender restrictions on what roles men and women can fulfill in the church, home, and society.
This view holds that the teachings and attitudes of Jesus and the New Testament abolished gender-specific roles as well as roles related to class and race.
If you have read some of my other posts, you will know that I use gotquestions.org as a resource. Unfortunately, they present complementarianism as the truth and say egalitarians just do not really understand equality within complementarianism.
This is another reason to let each side speak for themselves. Again, Two Views on Women in Ministry is a way to let each side speak.
To me, this belief is negotiable.
But, some practices based upon this belief are destructive. I have witnessed the abuse to which some of the complementarianism teaching can lead. I have personally heard pastors say that if wives are abused by their husbands, they must submit and understand this is God-ordained. I know a man who was telling me he was trying to figure out how to get out of going to a church service with his extended family because the preacher would be a woman and he thought it would be sinful for him to sit under her teaching. This same man was hesitant to send his young son to a junior high church program because he knew there were women teachers and he felt his son should be considered a man and should not sit under the teaching of a woman.
We have to remember when we read Paul’s letters that we are listening to one side of a dialogue. We are missing the letters in response and we are missing some of Paul’s letters back to the same recipients. Context is huge! The actual first century situation being addressed is huge!
Based upon everything I have studied, today, I would consider myself an egalitarian.
When I was in the complementarian bubble, I did support some of the limitations on women’s roles within the church. But, I am thankful that because of my father’s example to me that even when we were in the complementarian bubble, Kristin and I have conducted our marriage as co-regents and co-servants.
First posted July 25, 2021
Comment by KCV:
Gregg, You have a very pleasant, clear, conversational non confrontational way of explaining relevant theological issues. Glad you’re at it.
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